NY2NO

Before I begin, excuse the poor grammar, the mixed-up typing, and the stream-of-consciousness. It's late, I'm tired, forgive me.

Today was Day 2, but it feels like Day 1,000.  Lots of work got done today, and new jobs were created within our group. We fed the chickens, washed the dishes, added to the compost pile, cooked a delicious taco dinner (both beans & beef), cleaned up Our School for Turner's return tonight, walked the goats so they could graze across the street, shopped for our food at Magnolia and Winn Dixie, walked the dogs - Buddie and Diamond, and finally wrote this blog entry.

Everyone here is an amazing person. This entire organization began because a few kids wanted to do something positive, and instead of letting the real world stop them, they just got it done. Hardbody. Every kid/young adult I've spoken to on this trip has been brilliant and incredibly aware. I've never seen so much motivation or been so inspired. The craziest part is that we're doing this all on our own. I never realized that I am actually capable of getting done the changes I want to see made. This confidence and self-reliance is something completely new and amazing, and the trip has been worthwhile just for that reason alone. Within literally 10 minutes of arriving, we insulated our own sleeping quarters. We weren't really taught, we just kinda did it. And that's possible. I knew nothing about soil and farming, but I've spent the last two days sorting soil because I now know that in order to grow the best fruits and veggies and herbs, you need healthy soil, which is soil that is free of rocks and logs and garbage. And free of shoes. The seashells are okay, though, because they add calcium when they break down. We're learning skills, we're learning knowledge, we're learning about ourselves, we're learning about the world, we're learning about society, and we're doing it on our own. We are doing it only with the help and guidance of the peers in our community, and we are all filling that role for each other.

We were also instantly able to form a community. These people all genuinely believe in themselves, me, and the work we're doing. Some of the deepest and most open conversations of my life have been with people I've known for 48 hours, and that's okay. I trust them. We're in this together, "for all humanity."

We're capable of making complex decisions as a group without leaders (reppin' the Consensus Method here); the previously-blogged mission sentence was the result of about 45 minutes of group discussion and tweaking. It may take time, but the energy, enthusiasm and results are beautiful. Without anyone explaining what needs to be done, we found the tasks that will keep the school running, and we organized ourselves to get them done. This all goes back to my new-found independence, but it's just so mind-blowing that I can't get away from the idea. I'm incredibly disoriented and questioning lots of things about myself and my world, because the way we see the world is almost never the way it really is. I'm slowly learning how much I don't know, and for the first time I'm accepting that. Everyone here is conversing about some really heavy topics and meaning what they say, being open to opinions and honestly exploring the answers. At the same time, no one is a afraid to kick back and have fun. We're genuinely enjoying the work we're doing because we believe in it. This is not about an ideology and it's not about rebellion or revolt. It's about us learning to be more caring, more aware, more independent, and more productive human beings. That is not something most people work toward on a daily basis. I'm honestly amazed here.

I'm beginning to learn what it means to be humble as well. Humble isn't "oh wow, these houses are destroyed; how poor and unluckly these locals are." Humble is not about being thankful for what you have - that's important, but it's not humble. I've been truly humbled by realizing that I'm not the lucky one - I'm selfish, I'm ignorant, I'm easily confused, I'm hesitant, I'm prejudiced, I make excuses, I'm not exceedingly brilliant, I'm not actually aware of the world around me, and I'm not wholly the person I should be. I'm extremely, blatantly flawed. But we all are in some way or another. I've been humbled into acknowledging and accepting that. These people I'm with all share some of these faults, but almost all of them see it, accept it, and work to change it. My prideful/arrogant nature just got sucker-punched by Our School @ Blair Grocery and my compadres on the NY2NO brigade. This isn't about us. This isn't really about farms, or houses, or even community organizing. This is about reaching out to people who could benefit from our priviledges, and it's about reliquishing our priviledge to help those people, these people down here in the Ninth Ward, and it's about doing it because we are people and they are people and that's all that matters. It's not about helping; it's about helping people. All the rest is just tools and consequence.